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Heartbreak…A Look into the Past

March 6, 2010

My friend Sam occasionally recycle’s blogs over at his place, and I think it’s a good idea.  There are some thoughts that you want to make fresh again especially when you wrote one two years ago!  Here’s one of mine that I feel should have a second go. (Plus, it keeps your blog active when you are in between posts!) 🙂


Okay, okay… before you get ahead of yourself, this has nothing to do with a current situation or feelings that I’m still dealing with.  In fact, it is because that I am okay with my past relationships that I can write about heartbreak in a blog.  But I figured a discussion on heartbreak would be fitting for a post-depression blog.  So here we go.

I have an English degree.  I know it may not look like it from all the typos in my blogs (I’m working on making that better), but I actually spent four years writing, writing, and writing some more.  In any case, I fueled my writing for my entire senior year with my experiences from a broken heart that occured at the end of my junior year.  Seriously.  For instance,  I passed an entire creative writing class by writing about this relationship and the pain it caused.  Or how about this, I wrote my ENTIRE senior thesis from a realization that I had about love based on reading Troilus and Criseyde after this story paralleled my breakup story in a painfully similar fashion.  Okay, maybe it didn’t, but everything I read that year reminded me of my broken heart and so I wrote about it.  I graduated college because of it!

As good as it turned out (graduating college is a pretty cool achievement), heartbreak is a horrendous period of a person’s life that causes pain like NOTHING I’ve ever experienced before.  Here’s one of my short poems that I wrote in creative writing.  It was an attempt to write a poem in the style of one of the poet’s we read in class and exemplifies the pain I felt:

“Postcard from Love”

It calls your name, in the moment you least expect it, the moment
You hoped you couldn’t hear anything.  You look up and see the
girl, your breath taken in a second – no, not even; you know that
You will always be hers.  You will never leave, but she may.  It may.

When love leaves, it’s brutal.  Maybe we don’t want it to leave.  Maybe we know that it should, but can’t give it up somehow.  No matter the situation, when love is ripped out of our hearts, it feels like a gaping wound that will never heal.  In my case, it caused such pain (even physical pain) that I couldn’t stay still at times.  I would have to get up and move around.  I lost ten pounds the first week after the “breakup!”  It always amazes me how an emotional pain can have such strong physical consequences.  That’s how powerful love (or the loss of it is).  I think that there is no other force on earth with so much potency (for good or ill) as love.

Love has devastating power.  And that’s why it has the potential to bring the greatest  happiness and the greatest sorrow.  But I’ve learned a few things about love and how we are “created” to deal with love.

First, we have a great capacity to survive a broken heart.  As ferocious as it may seem.  We are hardwired to survive loves brutality.  Of course, if we were created with the ability to survive, then we were also created with the even more amazing ability to give love in great measure – to pour out our lives for love’s sake.  This is a beautiful thing.   We thrive on love (there is a deeper love that God speaks of that goes beyond our human perceptions of love and abilities to love, but alas, that must wait for a future post); it’s the greatest quality of humanity.  But sometimes we need to survive love that’s gone awry, and we can.

Secondly, time heals a heart broken by love.  Now I know that this is the worst cliche known to man for the person with the broken heart!  I hated hearing that.  But it’s true nontheless.  We need time to have our hearts mended correctly.  This is why the worst thing people can do (in my humble opinion) is pursue a new relationship the moment one has ended.  It’s a quick fix, but it does further damage to our heart.  The harder, longer (but better) way is to give our hearts time to become whole again.

Thirdly (and if you’ve read my blog before you know what’s coming :) ), discovering or rediscovering the pure love that Christ offers saved me from my brokenness that fleeting love caused.   I’ve never known anything comparable to God’s love.  It’s constant, unchanging, and beautiful.

Those are a few things that helped me overcome a broken heart – a realization that I would survive, time, and Christ.  There are so many ways to deal with heartbreak, but I’ve found few that gave me long lasting peace and healing.  These are the three that have worked.  The process was slow, but the healing was secured.

Oh yeah!  And write!!  Write about heartbreak.  Make poetry.  Write stories.  Have a journal.  You may graduate college with your work! :)

Dwell in His LOVE.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. March 6, 2010 10:33

    It’s a gift.

    I think I understand. When you have less expectation, it happens and you just know.

    Beautiful one.

  2. March 26, 2010 3:16

    glad i stumbled across this blog. very helpful and beautiful.

    thanks for posting 🙂

    • jonathangroover permalink*
      March 29, 2010 5:01

      Hey Rebbi,

      I’m glad you stopped by too! I hope that my blog could help in some way. I also enjoyed reading yours; you show how heartbreak is a process that we can work through.

  3. SUNNY permalink
    September 22, 2012 4:58

    Dis blog really make alot of sense to me dis morning.u really understand what heartbrake is all about.


  1. A God Who Knows Heartbreak « You can take everything I have..

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